Listening to understand... not reply

Listening is an art and too few actually do it well.

1. Putting our own spin on the purpose or content of the conversation.

Have you ever started a conversation and immediately put a thought or question out there that makes your point of view clear and fixed? Instead of giving the other individual time to formulate a response, we immediately re-phrase the question or remark and answer it ourselves.

2. Assuming their response and planning an answer

Even when we stop and wait for a response , we often don’t hear, as we are concentrating on our reply to what we assume they will say. The desire to be perceived as quick witted or decisive means we could be missing so much vital and crucial information.

3. Read the non verbal clues

Watch for non-verbal body language. When a person is excited they intuitively lean forward as if to say, “don’t miss this next point because it is very important”. Remain quiet, not just to hear every word, notice the inflection of their voice, whether they raise or lower the volume and the tone they use. Non-verbal hints can make up more than 90% of the communication going on in a conversation.

4. Wait before you respond... count to 8!

By speaking too soon you may cut off the other individual's response. Be smart and give the person  time to acknowledge your comment or statement. It builds respect and credibility. You also allow yourself time to hear and take notice of non verbal cues.

Read the full article here